Zoosk vs. OkCupid: Prices, Audiences, Features & Success Rates
They want to be loved. I have met women from each site in the first month of using them. TIP:: Keep in mind im young and beautiful between 20-30 but the good men i have met didnt see a picture of me until we really started talking so to attract the good people its all about what you say and what your specifications are!
He replied right away and we made a plan to meet for drinks a few days later. She was divorced with no children. They are tired of the immaturity of girls their own age.
Zoosk vs. OkCupid: Prices, Audiences, Features & Success Rates - Thus she cheated, divorced me, left me with the debt, child support, and I had to redefine myself at 33 years of age.
You put up a profile, you peruse their profiles, all for less than the price of… well, anything. Two of the more popular sites are and. Wondering on which site will be your Mr. You can create your profile, set your search criteria, and set off on your computer quest for Mr. Right in less than the time it takes to go on a first date! The only thing fuzzier than their images is your head after a long night of online profile surfing. There are quizzes to take and personality profiles to complete. The range of questions runs the gamut from your views on recreational drug use, your philosophies on monogamy and political leanings, to your religious viewpoints. You know exactly how your date will look unless the pictures he or she posted are from the early nineties. It has the look and feel of a social networking site rather than a traditional online dating site with regards to both its format and content you can post journals, other people can comment on them, that sort of thing. So if simplicity is your thing….. As you can tell, I personally prefer OkCupid as my free online dating service of choice. On Plenty of Fish, there seemed to be an overabundance of DOGs desperate old guys from the over-50 crowd dropping their fishing canes into the water thinking that women in their 20s would bite. Keeping in mind, that both sites are free so you lose nothing by signing up on both sites. Then you can figure out for yourself which site is a better fit for your dating lifestyle. Disclaimer: Free online dating services come with a price, after all. One does not have to be gainfully employed, approved for a credit card, or even in the same country to masquerade as your next perfect match. Use your common sense when going for totally free dating! Otherwise, stick with more reputable sites like more casual or more serious. Hmmm, where should I begin? On okcupid, for the first date I ever went on, after my divorce, I ended up with a guy who was 50+ lbs heavier than his profile pics. This actually happened on two separate dates with two separate men. I encountered two stalkers, two men that came on WAY too strong. I message a couple guys and they seem to only want dirty pics. Plenty of those on okcupid! POF is better than OkCupid, because the entire point is to actually MEET people. This creates unnecessary bias and barriers to dating, as some dumb computer formula spits out that you are 35% an ENEMY. Like WTH is that? If you are not going out on dates, then the site is wasting your time. AND change your photo. When I learned this, my incoming msgs went up like… whatsit 350%. The same for your profile, I see the some women edit two or three words in a sentence! I have been on OKCupid for a little more than a month. I have received two messages, average about 20 profile visits a week, but have yet to have any replies to messages I have sent. I am trying to find the magic formula. I think part of the problem is the Paradox of Choice and the other issue is the women at least in my age group have some serious personality issues. The sad truth is that these sites are more hook-up sites and real relationships are outliers. If you want a mate, you have to get out into the real world. After finalizing my divorce in 2001, I set up several free profiles on the major dating sites of the day. I soon began checking out Yahoo! I was very disappointed when Yahoo! They always have you stand to be introduced and then tell the group something about yourself, too. In an active week, I may message at most 10. I was thinking about trying Match. I want to see how online dating goes first. Have I felt disappointed with any meets? Would I have liked to have gotten to know someone better, Sometimes. But to get wrapped around the axle over one person? Sounds like you get it. Where are you located? I tried OKC for one week and just deleted my profile. Then the guys that I did like would email me and say that im too beautiful to be on a dating site and bash me about how I should have no trouble finding a guy. They would just tell me I was gorgeous and say they have no chance with me even though Id respond and show interest. These were usually the artsy and musically talented guys. So needless to say I give up! DinoDude and Roger made intelligent posts that resonated with me the most. I decided to try OKc on a whim, and am blown away at the low response rate I have received. I typically spend a couple hours looking through hundreds of profiles, and choose around 4 that look the most interesting. I write nice, often lightly humorous messages to those 4 that incorporate some aspect of their profile. The messages are not overly serious or dull, and are not over-the-top sexual come-ons. I understand what constitutes good communication. I just try to be myself, and get very few responses. Victor is probably right though. I guess a response is all that is important when you are online. When you get to the next point and meet someone, you can make the determination then. Kind of like looking for a job and landing an interview, I suppose. Having been on POF and Okcupid, I generally find the quality of girls on POF to be worse. The girls on POF on average just seem to be less educated, less literate, more slutty, with far more cleavage shots and photos of them in their underwear. The number of girls is far greater than on Okcupid but dating should be a case of quality over quantity. I think of online dating as a tool, not THE be all end all of my romantic life. I eat lunch at home, so I am not going to meet anyone at lunch either. Example: If I go out to see a band on Friday night at Venue ABC… and the guy meant for me works late on Friday, but goes to see the same band on Saturday at Venue 123. The chances of us meeting accidentally are slim VERY SLIM With an online dating site, I can leave a message — sure its all originally based on a photo and a 100 word description, but that is what the first meeting and dates are for — to get to KNOW someone. My problem is that they say they want to meet. I suggest something I live in Small Town Indiana — but I am willing to drive an hour one way to a bigger city so we can meet in a place with choices they say let me get back to you… and I can never get that concrete time and place set up. Secondly, l find no matter whether the site is free or not, pretty much ya see the same faces on every one. Men would ask me to meet them in a coffee shop or whatever, l usually get there first. They approach, look into my eyes and say nope not feeling it. LMAO They say they will know when they meet the right one. It is rather frustrating. After reading this I guess I feel a little better about how I did after 1 year on OKcupid… Went on 6 dates with 6 different girls 3 really fat, 3 good-looking and then spent 2 weekends with a 7th girl who was somehow way hotter than the others. Much intimacy was had. There is 0 excuse for this. However I live in a big city 1 million people. And then there is the outright gold-digging. The hotter she is, the worse she can be. When you meet a woman from online, everything on the date and for the 1st week or 2 can go fine. You are, for the MOMENT, her right or perfect type. BUT while she is seeing you, OTHER guys are still E-MAILING and asking her out OR she is SEARCHING other profiles. Women are not usually satisfied with just great sex and good times, like men are. Many women are INSANELY searching for Mr. Any mistake that her present guy makes, is an excuse for her to disappear. She is then off to dating the next guy from online, then the next, and then the next. All the while making all kinds of rationalizations and excuses to justify what she is doing. And the power of the Internet, Facebook, Instant messaging, smartphones, e-mail, etc… means this affects regular dating too. Many women can easily accumulate dozens of phone numbers, contacts, and e-mails of guys they met on the street, clubs, bars, in addition to online. You can be thinking she is only your woman, when she is doing 2 other guys behind your back. With the Internet, has come rampant cheating AND serial dating. Wow, well I personally have been on both sites for about a month now. I have gone on several dates and met some great guys and some not so great. It appears a lot of people are going into this dating online world looking for the one. So why are we using online dating to magically create the love connection for us? Yes, I am a single mom due to divorce…after reading some of the comments above, with which I find laughable…so this makes me a bad person that made bad decisions? Also, some of the comments about single moms needing a daddy for their kids or assistance are ridiculous as well. I have a great job and my ex husband is in the life of his kids. Now on to the dogs part. I am 28 and have dated a man 13 year older then me. Ok enough ranting, on to the review of the sites. POF I like because there are a lot more men in my area then the OKcupid site. Other then that I think both sites have pros and cons and I would consider them equals in the free dating website world. I wanted to tell you all that my girlfriend met a great guy on Ok cupid last August 2011 she was the one that convinced me to join okc and drop pof , they have been together ever since and she just told me they are getting engaged this year!! I recently went to cancel and they lowered the price to 29. Just my opinion but I think its only a matter of time before they are all free. Its unfortunate since i think the people on the pay sites are a little more serious about wanting to meet someone. I am not on any sites right now taking some time off. I was on POF for about a year. If I wanted to meet a 50something guy I would increase my age range. I was on okc for about 6 months but have not met anyone. The quality of men there seems better than POF. I also tried speedate. When I met him in person he told me he had a 5 year old so even lying about kids to get you to meet them. I have met some great guys 1 from yahoo and 1 from match dated 1 for 2 yrs and 1 for 8 mos. Good Luck to all! I met several people, dated a few. Now the matches are questionable at best. A number of the profiles they show as high-percentage matches are profiles that are nowhere close to being a match and some are no longer active. I used to pay to belong to that site. Rob, I understand where you are coming from. Although I do like the concept of online dating, I suspect from empirical evidence that it may not work out for me. My last 2 long-term relationships I met away from dating sites also, both were not from the UK — just as, if not, more significant. FWIW, I hated every single second of POF dating-wise, except the forums. Oh, except from a 6ft Danish girl, living in Canada — with whom we formed a mutual appreciation club because we liked each others profiles. I am meeting people through a social meet-up website based upon my interest Chinese. I recently decided to bail out of OKC after nearly a year of trying thing on that site. I really think many people on that site are unrealistic, narcissistic or are looking for sex. It very well could be that articles such as this one are irrelevant for that reason. Many guys I know have said that OkCupid was not worth it and a waste of time. My theory is that OkCupid has gone overboard with the bells and whistles to the extent that many women think a computer program is going to match them up with their identical perfect male twin. So if the OkCupid program shows you as 35% Enemy, you are not going to get a reply or message. POF worked well for actual dates, and so has other online dating sites that I have used. OkCupid stands out as the odd site, where something is fundamentally wrong. I understand how frustrating it can be to clearly spell out your preferences and have that ignored. It happens to any and all the frequent any type of social media venue. I do not agree with the ease with which she penned a name for men of a certain age group. Men of that age group rarely are desperate unless they have been desperate all their lives. There is no difference between the sexes in this situation. It goes without saying that these inked up pin cushions bent on their own self destruction will be on adult websites if not already pandering some DOG for a moments worth of attention. Careful sweetie…acid tongues are unbecoming. I have to say first off that I think Plenty Of Fish is a better website than OKCupid. Second, I have to say that there is not much difference in the quality of matches between paid membership sites such as eHarmony and free membership sites. It seems that they match you how THEY want to, not how you want them to. We each have criteria. We are paying them, after all. They say that they can find us someone? I have never had anyone write to me, being a quiver match of theirs. A lot of people on OKC want people from around the block I think, too. So many people wrote to me after I had expressed interest and said that there was too much of a distance. I know they could have. I have an easier time using Plenty of Fish. If a person is really interested in finding someone they will spend some time writing a profile-how you perceive the profile is up to you. There are a lot of people out there who have been hurt, and who will say so in their profile. They want to be loved. I talked on the phone to someone from OKC who neglected to list many things about his life in his profile, and talking to him really showed me this. I also met someone on POF who I thought I would be with forever. It was a dream meeting. I only talked to him on the phone for a few minutes before we decided to meet later that day. If this guy came to his senses, I would have a fantastic story to tell about POF. Right now I just have a story of a broken heart and I am out of glue. Reading these comments was more fun than online dating! I have no problem attracting men. I, too, have met some really great people. Many of whom remain close friends today. I know I am. Especially after what I experienced in my marriage. I want a man who DESIRES me. I want a man who KNOWS he wants to be with me. I have had my mailbox filled with the twenty somethings, too. And I dated several. It is AMAZING how very mature some of the young guys are these days. They are tired of the immaturity of girls their own age. They truly just wanted to experience what it felt like to be in a mature relationship. One of them actually made six figures. A VERY motivated, successful young man. Hands down, nothing better. I want to grow old with my man…. I want the fire and passion more now than I ever did in my 20s or 30s. I am finding that most men in my age range feel the same way. And, more times than not, so do old gals!!! It appears to be just a game, which is a given I know. This is truly a lame excuse for a site. Perhaps a different perspective here. I like OK Cupid better because with the questionnaires, you can learn alot more about your potential suitors. More importantly, you can even learn if its worth your time to send them an email. Thing is, you wanna know if you even have a remote chance of getting a girl to respond to you and OK Cupid gives you some of those answers. POF, not so much. OKC gives a lot of information on potential dates to see if they are worth it or not. Besides the race thing, the questions they answer usually give a lot of information on the type of person they are. POF has questions but it is WAYYY too long and wordy. OKC allows you to answer each question at your own pace. She is 29 and far more attractive than I should be with… We have recently explored openness in our relationship. Her validation is to have any correspondent who wants to talk with her to send an immediate phone pic everybody has a smart phone with the person doing something or posing specific to what she says. The site is full of jokers. Yes, i agree its full of DOGS and Frogs, but hey thats life and everyones part of the world. No decent date or anything means that the dogs and frogs are just as same as each other. As one who has participated in newspaper personals ads in years past, and now free online dating sites, I applaud the intent of OkCupid and Plenty of Fish, which is to enable singles to meet. But in practice there is often a very different outcome. Photos are routinely years old, sometimes by decades. Any game or con that can be played or pulled on members is. These sites can be a lot of fun, provided you keep in mind that almost nothing — and no one — on these sites is what they appear to be. And real life dates with quality individuals can be a very rare occurrence. I also remember having sex with 20 something guys…. Yes I know women lie as well, but I knew my gender was guilty of fudging their ages. I had no idea men were joining the party!!! My dad is 65! Going out tonight with a 42 yr old from okcupid. All in all imho socializing the old fashion way is still the best way to meet people. Same thing happens with repetitive visitors on Okcupid. I also did not mean to imply that ALL women hate men, it just seems those that do are the firstest and the mostest to comment in similar threads. Even worse, the person comparing the sites is so completely ignorant of anything other than bashing older guys whose personal preference is younger women, that she was not even aware that POF has a setting restricting age? It appears that men love women — and generally of all ages, to varing degrees — but women do not seem to love anything ABOUT men; rather, they generally seem to have nothing but great disdain and resentment towards men. Have any men bashed women in this exchange for not being attreacted to balding, hair losing belly gaining men? I have some thoughts to add. My first experience online dating was in 1999 — 2000 when I was 30 to 31 years old and ended when I met my first husband on uDate. We divorced when I was 38. I began dating again in 2008 — 2009 when I was 39 to 40 years old and ended when I met my second husband on Match. When my friends and co-workers started online dating, we began comparing notes and I discovered that if a person was comfortable and confidant offline dating, they did well online dating. If offline dating was not successful for the person, online dating was not successful either. Before I began online dating, I research what to expect and to learn the etiquette of online dating. What I read was that an online dating inquiry is far less intimate and formal than receiving an offline dating inquiry. And does not require receivers to reply to emails from people they do not wish to date. The non-response indicates the person is not interested. I got so many emails from men who said they simply wanted a reply, that I began sending polite emails stating my disinterest when necessary and got ugly, angry comments in response. Recently I have heard the same comments about online dating from men and women. Both complain that the other are deceptive in describing their appearance height, weight, age and that there are crazies contacting them. There will always be weird, unstable, unfit people contacting folks, but who cares. Delete their emails, block them if need be and think no more of it. I disagree with people taking their profiles down when they begin dating someone. The initial dating phase should be a light, fun, discovery of compatibility until the couple decides to exclusively date and then dating profiles come down. I think people rush too quickly into exclusivity and short circuit the process of getting to know someone well before commitment. Keep your options open and date around until you find someone worthy of your heart. Wishing you all the best of luck in your search! I agree that there should be some feedback mechanism, like if you met this person , do they match their photo, are there misrepresentations in the profile. Also there should be some common courtesy, if someone writes to you there should be a reply even if its thanks but no thanks. As a woman I think its the men who are sitting there on an ego trip getting tons of email and not bothering to answer. What is with the Old Dogg getting worked up and getting beyond nasty with hateful old fish statement. Older woman already have the title of cougar—which i do not care for, so lets not get too insulting people. I always state my age 42, I am on the heavier side and always state so— still get messages from both older and younger men. MMM have been complimented on my looks often, and I do look younger than my age. It is fun to go on these sites and I have met some really nice guys. Some cyber stalkers but for the most part nice people. LOL It is important to place current pics up—hate that. Met someone much older than photo but after going out for coffee and walking thru antique shops I really began to like him. On POF and OkCupid. POF more cut and dry nice technique for first intro. Have meet people from both sites—sometimes they just want a fling and sometimes u meet serious and lovely men. Of course it depends on your mood too. We are all on sites like Plenty of Fish and OkCupid for a reason and should not be tarnished with the same brush! Everyone has their own preferences on their ideal partner so should not be condemned for it! People fall in love everyday — do you think it matters about age, height? Ok chemistry is necessary of course but there can be so much more to people than their outer shell!! When looks fade it is the emotional connection you have left — if a relationship is based upon looks what is left? I believe life without love is no life at all but we get love in all different ways! When your happy with your life, happy with who you are then you are likely to meet the right one! Mixture of spam, fake profiles, or matching me up with people in the Uk or Austr eHarmony despite they far exceed the 50 miles from Chicago. All cancelled within 6 months of opening. A friend of mine told me about Plenty of Fish which I had an acct for about 2 years. Met a wonderful guy…on the surface who turned out to have a lot of emotional scarring stemming from childhood abuse and never getting over his ex-wife. The relationship was a short lived intense friendship because I knew having serious feelings would leave me hurt. He told me he was contacted by a girl on POF, gave me a story, said she was what he wanted because she had kids already and as it turns out, she is the emotionally needy, ultimatum giver to suit selfish needs of her own. That was what best fit him. There was a reason we came in and out of each others lives in that way. I closed my acct maybe a month later to give it a rest…primarily grew bored with the process. Started a new account but in the last year I have had so many life changing experiences that have given me a new outlook. Reflects greatly with responding to people differently. I want to do TM too. For the most part, I reply to everyone who takes the time to write a note. And each interaction ends up being a different kind of relationship. One guy wants me to help him lose weight. A couple years ago…I would have replied differently. The thing we all have to remember is the characteristics we find unattractive in others, we own those traits as well. Do I have criteria I want met in a partner for life? Does that mean I will reject people? Do I have a age limit. The beauty of it…that is my opinion and my choice for my life and how I choose to live it. If it turns out that I was only to be married once…that is ok. It was perfect in the way it was…. I have one in my best friend. I guess the end of the ranting…. Sometimes people are on there to get away from a bad marriage. Or hide behind a 20 yo picture because they are in denial with getting older or ashamed with how they look…and therefore never plan on meeting people face to face. Be good to each other…. Xoxo So yeah… POF is a waste of time if you are an attractive, well to do guy under 30…. High angles and proper lighting can be extremely redirecting…. Also…read the profiles… You wouldnt believe the info you can gather from simple deductive reasoning: she loves to travel, drives a new bmw, her photos all show high end purses and watches…. But she never went to college and bartends… Simple logic tells you shes expensive to keep around and brings little to the table in a relationship…aka gold digger As long as you use common sense and dont mind shooting people down regularly…you should be good… 1 rule these sites need to adopt? Your profile pic MUST be full body with a digital timestamp. I was on Match. Anyway I tried OKCupid and am talking with a wonderful gentleman, he lives a little farther than I would like but distance is only an obstacle if we let it. A comment to Elissa, Girls and women lie twice as much as the men do about their age and their pictures are 10 to 20 yrs younger than they really are. I feel if you want someone that you want to meet. Have everyone, men and women, show a dated picture that shows the face shot and the full body shot. Get rid of the liars. You can also do a criminal back round check on them if you go into the public court records of their town and state they live in. Just type in their name if you can get them to tell you what it is. This will even tell you if that person is divorced or not. On POF you give the info of what you are looking for and they match you up with everything but. As anything in life anything is possible but nothing is for sure. I started to experiment with OkCupid and found it to be ok. The problem is the dynamics of the site. I am a guy. I assume that for an attractive woman on the site they get tons of messages from crazies, scammers, and regular guys. So they receive tons of messages. After a while, women are afraid to approach anybody. I even find myself questioning whether profiles are real or if anybody really dates or just likes the attention. You definitely have women that have the princess syndrome, that think they are hotter than they are and many guys just contact them for sex and then dump them. In the real world most guys are afraid to approach so I think you have better odds in the real world. I would rather approach the 10 at the bar and get shot down then not get a response from a webpage and a picture of a 7. However I think I will keep trying OkCupid out for a bit. I have gotten responses from attractive women. But I get way better results in reality and have never had a problem, just wanted to experiment with the online thing. Hi, I have used Plenty of Fish for almost a year, and it is disappointing to know that most guys there want to only hook up. I keep seeing the same guys over and over searching for one night stands. I met someone on POF and dated a person there for 3 months, only to discover he had a wife and a child in his country. I was heart broken, so now i am super careful with the people i meet. PlentyofFish is a genuine, if a bit knocked around and defensive, site full of real people. These sites are a way to pass time, which I have a lot of right now. Just ended a year and a half relationship with someone I met on POF. He is a wonderful man in many ways, but alas, his sensitivity and inability to accept my shortcomings ended us. Sad, I wanted him to be my life partner. Anyway, I am back. Wish I could be alone for a while but this gut wrentching pain will not allow me to do that. I need so bad to be cuddled. The one person I did start talking to, showed his true narrow-mined colors very quickly. Any tips for searching better on OKC? I have had very different responses from the sites, despite using the same photos and pretty much the same words. When I signed up and re-signed up to POF I was hit by hundreds of messages in a week. A lot of these really good-looking people. It just either swings one way or the other, they like me or I like them, never a common ground. Dating sites can be a huge ego boost, but they can also hurt your feelings. Just like the real world, but more intense. I have been single for three+ years after the loss of my lovely life. We had 20 great, not perfect, years together. I met her four months after my first wife passed as well, both from c. It is too easy to flit from one site or profile to the next. I have met quite a few women from , OKCupid, POF and even some nice ones from Craigslist. I think because of this flitting I missed out with some women who were good matches. One woman in particular I taked to for a few weeks and met and it seemed so in sync. She was beautiful, younger and very fit and smart and here it is I am a bald man, lost two wives and it bothered me that she had white hair and her husband had done himself in. She truly is a special woman and I can kick myself. It seems odd but I respect the honesty. OK Cupid with its questions is crazy but I think it has the most interesting women on there but there are plenty on all the sites, it takes an open mind, a good first date, perserverance eventually and a lot of luck and definitely some mutual interests, education and physical attraction. Oh yes, distance is all too often a problem, like 90 % of the matches from eharmony. The supermarket is overrated but I think that I should atttend some dances. I do believe it would be better to be offered the chance to hard-limit certain options, such as distance, regardless of how infrequently a match will show. On the other hand, my second wife lived hundreds of miles away when I met her. I met my boyfriend on pof two years ago. I was very new to dating, having recently come out of a 25 year marriage that I entered at age 21. I was only looking to get my feet wet at the time that we met. He was nine years older than me and not particularly good looking, but there was a lot of chemistry and we had so much in common that I continued to see him. About a year into it, a single woman friend clued me into his ongoing activity on the site. I confronted him about it, and he took it down. If he was, I wanted to know about it. Honesty was all I asked for. He seemed like a good man and a great match for me in so many other ways, and we both enjoyed our time together very much, did many fun things together. Our relationship had warmth, friendship, lots of passion, and I thought, honesty and love. Once we had been together a year and a half. As the two year mark approached, the pressure built. I loved him very much, was not sure about taking the leap. My heart was badly damaged from my marriage, and he knew it. I was actively doing my work of healing and rebuilding my life. After he had been discovered on pof last year, I continued to check every now and then to be sure his profile was still hidden. It was, and eventually I stopped checking. At this crossroads in our relationship, I checked again. It was still down. But then I got a hunch. I had never heard of it before. I took a look… and there he was. It was the exact same profile I had fallen for on pof two years before. I watched his comings and goings there for three days. There were times when he left my bed and my home in the morning and logged in the minute he arrived home. All this while telling me how much he loved me. I confronted him, he denied it. He also said that he had only logged in because he received an unsolicited message and was simply checking in to see it. I guessed his password and logged in as him. I saw what he was doing there for myself. I am sooooo glad I did. Also, OKCupid allows a user to write personal comments under each of the users in their favorites list. He had rated women on some sort of sex percentage scale. It was eerie to read it after knowing the truth. I also contacted every woman he had been in contact with there, warning them that this man was not what he represented himself to be and urging them to be careful out there. I received some very compassionate responses from women who had taken him at face value, and of course, the profile was shut down very soon after. This just happened last week. In the meantime, I also found some phone numbers in my phone contacts that he had accidentally synched into it when he used it to check his emails one day. I looked up one of the numbers… it was for an escort service. I feel so ridiculously naive. Oddly enough, I would have been OK with most of what he was doing, if he had only told me about it. I try to stay open-minded. It must be my pictures with my son, but I have not gotten a single response on POF. I never have this problem in real life. I am not an ugly dude, and I will actually have women come up an start hitting on me. On POF I get nothing in response. I have a great career, am athletic, well educated, and not quite over 40. The only thing that I can think of is my profile pictures are with my kids. Also, I am not really interested in too young of women. My age preferences are between 27 and 43 and even 27 would have to be a real click for me. When there is too big of an age difference the relationship is seriously lacking…IMO. I have met a few women on there, but for the most part I will just try to meet women at the park, coffee shop, or where ever else we can chat in person. I used OKCupid and met my fiance there. It was hard to navigate at first, but got better with time. With very little result, I might add. RoboWarrior has given me a little more confidence, at least he got some dates out of it. I will start out with sort of a poor poor me story about my life in general. She is one of those women who was cute til her mid-twenties and gained a ton. I married her at a mid point when she was still attractive and put together. After our son came, she really blew up …I never once said an ill word about her weight. I just encouraged eating right and positive measures like excercise. She wanted the easy way out with surgery, and then regained her sense of youth when she lost the weight. Thus she cheated, divorced me, left me with the debt, child support, and I had to redefine myself at 33 years of age. I was 35 before I sort of had my life back on track and married my second wife who was a REBOUND. I met her at a bar and it turned out that she was hiding a problem with alcohol. We had a child together too, and I was fortunate this time to win custody when divorce was my only option. I used POF between divorcing my first wife and meeting my second wife. I also created an OK Cupid profile but never got much luck or seriousness with it. I learned that it is very difficult to meet quality women on these sites. OK after my second divorce, I am in a better emotional, mental, and even financial position than my first divorce left me. I have the company of my little boy most of the time. I dated a woman, a 4th grade teacher, for 5 months on POF after the second divorce. I am in a weird phase in my life. I SWEAR, I thought all my life that women were the nurturing, child loving gender, that women divorce their husbands to protect kids from abuse, that the most important quality that a man can possess is being a good dad. I would have believed that my example would be very attractive to young late twenty, early thirty mothers with a kid or two looking to meet a good step father for their kids. Instead, what I find is young mothers looking for a party, I guess they married and had kids too young and want to experience their early twenties again. This phenomenon stretches to women as old as 45…pictures of them with their girlfriends, goldfish bowl margaritas in hand, hanging at the club groping each other while men snap their pictures. The teacher I dated…wonderful woman! We hit it off and had sparks! Until I saw how she secretly resented her little boy and neglected him. It was subtle neglect…little things like ignoring him until he got irritating and then screaming at him I believe in proactive discipline rather than temper losing. In other words, YES parenting ability is a factor in how i proceed with a potential mate. I feel sad for the state of the feminine gender as represented by the 20-40 year old age dynamics. We are looking for WOMAN who actually care for their children above their own hedonistic agendas. I have more to say on this, but I need to cut it off here until later. Jessica, good for you! I have had the internet for around three years now and always wanted to try internet dating, being disabled CP: cerebral palsy finding true love, dates in the real world can become problematic, as women are very eager to judge you on first impressions, trying to strike a conversation up in a bar is hard when the handicap effects your speech! With this I thought my only chance to find happiness would be to try internet dating, as I thought I could disclose my CP when they had gotten to know me as a person. While on a unrelated site I saw an advertisement for plentyoffish. Being the only site to ever work for me, I returned to POF. There were others who said they were OK with it but was busy at the time and I should get in touch later, which not wanting to miss out on an opportunity and the fact the would have a row of the last logged in who had looked at your profile, just above those who had recently looked at your profile, which I found confusing, I would message them. I did this for weeks, hours at a time, loneliness is a great motivator until one day I was unable to do so, unable to log in? After a few weeks I replied to them and explained why I felt I was blocked so often, and to give them credit they allowed me back on. However they stated if I continued being blocked I would be banned for life!?!? I wanted to go but felt it was only fair and the right time to disclose my handicap. She quickly replied and cancelled the date; I then messaged her to explain that the disability was a part of me but not me, this was replied with a block. I came across a local single mother and we began chatting, I found her pleasant and she seemed to be open to me and my CP we chatted for days and cammed through MSN. We agreed to meet later in the week, so on a Friday afternoon we met at our local shopping centre and before you could blink we were in her home followed by her bed! Feeling a little beaten I deleted the account. A day had gone by and I was feeling better, and wanted to rejoin the site and try again, however my application was denied! I have tried other sites since and not had one meet in the real world. I have joined OKcupid in the last 6 months, well presented site. However I just feel it does not have a vast number of member, in the same way plentyoffish. My responded rate has been less than. The entitled attitude so many girls have put a lot of guys like me out in the cold. If nothing happens thru there, then after 15 years of trying to date I quit. All of my friends and even ex-girlfriends are married, its obviously not meant for me. I had taken down my dating profiles after the first date with these guys went amazingly well. How long do most people keep their profiles up after meeting and dating someone great? Any sound advice would be appreciated. According to a british study of personal ads in the Proceedings of the Royal Academy , quoted in my animal behavior textbook, women are NOT interested in men over the age of 40. Don, thanks for your post. One of the reasons I hate about some the dating sites is that women that are close to my age misrepresent their profiles. However; this works both ways! I am not the best looking guy in the world but I am a slim built person so I post slim! All of the younger women that have emailed me, share all this wonderful info aka.. I like an older man…. But when it comes time to meet up they disappear. For some reason there seems to be a lack of middle aged women to date. Ya I know wha wha wha! I have to say that Plenty of Fish has been interesting for me. I find that women that are extremely attractive, with just 1 photo, usually are fake. Formerly being on a soap opera in NY and a model, and having substance, I get about 50 messages a day. And even if the woman is not attractive to me, I still respond and listen. Overall I like this site better than the pay sites, like Millionaire match which was filled with fakes, strippers, prostitutes, and gold diggers. Sometimes when you cancel membership, you get a beautiful woman, all of a sudden conveniently wanting to meet you. They are uncover employees trying to get you to resign on the site. I am a black male who has utilized a lot of dating Web sites, paid ones and free sites including POF. I have just created a profile on OK Cupid, but I have not actually used it yet. Anyway I wanted to share my experiences as an older black male on these free pay sites. If you guys think you have it difficult, walk a mile in my shoes as it is even more difficult for guys like me. I love all women of all races, but for the past 15 years or so, I have dated interracially. My recent ex-girlfriend I actually met on POF. She was 14 years younger and a white female. It took quite a bit of convincing for her to even give me the time of day. But after our first face-to-face meeting she was hooked and we dated happily for over two years. I not one of those black men that absolutely will not date a black woman, but I have to be honest and admit that I evaluate black women more critically in many areas than other women for my personal reasons. Once I messaged a white female in POF after skimming her profile. She then sent me a highly inflammatory reply just before blocking me so I could not reply and apologize to her. Ladies, I am very cognizant and sensitive to your preferenece against mixed dating. But I am just curious. When you see the following: I DO NOT DATE OUTSIDE MY RACE!!! Again, its your right and your preference and I respect it without any animosity or anger toward you. Just deleting the message without reading it would seem to be a proper course of action upon receiving a message from any sender you are not interested in. There is usually a picture attached with the message that you see first right? Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions on this. Am I wasting my time on these dating Web sites? The interracial dating Websites are completely useless by the way. Figured I would post this. My cousin met his wife on e-Harmony. He was like myself, single, never married, never lived with anyone. She was divorced with no children. He had tried e-Harmony for about a year if I recall — had gone out on dates with a few women — none of whom interested him — or vice-versa. He turned his account off for a while. He restarted his account, right before his paid subscription was about to expire not expecting anything — and that is when he met his wife. But they have been married now for I think about 5 or 6 years. I am a paid subscriber on POF. By being a paid member, your profile is highlighted in the search results. Your photo appears in local listings at the top randomly. You get a badge on your profile that says, VIP, Serious Member or or several other choices. When I first joined POF back in December 2010, I had several women contact me for several months. I messaged quite a few women I thought were average in appearance who might be interesting and initially several wrote back. Been a member now for 7 months. Had one woman give me her cell phone number and wanted to text. She replied a few times very vaguely. She had quite a few other men she was talking to. So i did an experiment. I created a bogus account and uploaded a photo of a woman who I found on google who I thought was unattractive and I wrote out a lame profile intro. I was shocked to see how many hits, views and messages that account got. So if your a man — well — we are better off meeting women in our circles and just waiting it out — cause even the really ugly women on POF are getting tons of men. Also, agree — POF has 95% or higher — single women with children — most of them with at least two. Though there are plenty of divorced single women with kids on their that consider themselves Christian. I have to agree with Roger above — the whole process just becomes psychologically damaging after a while. Yet, over 90% of the time, and this is not an exaggeration, I am categorically ignored by any girl I find even remotely attractive. I am respectful in my messages, I do not lead with lascivious comments or sexual propositions. Then, there are the very few who DO message you back, correspond with you for a week or two and get along GREAT…and suddenly stop talking to you for no evident reason- possibly because she decided to quit the site or date someone else, but a heads up would be nice. The overall image of OK and Plentyoffish goes something like this: Women tend to be either really obnoxious and narcissistic, believing themselves to be queens of the world and deserving of nothing short of an actual Prince, enormously fat and hitting on guys who they outweigh by a good 100 lbs, or they are attractive girls who are either high on themselves or are inundated by so many messages of such disgusting quality that they simply HAVE to be exceedingly picky which I understand but find frusterating nevertheless. Men tend to be either disgusting pigs who make lurid, lascivious, or unctuous comments in short messages that barely qualify as more than primordial grunting…or they are actually very nice, respectful guys with future prospects, cars, houses, etc, who simply want to find someone with whom to share life with, become frustrated and have their self esteem dashed on the rocks by the leagues of women who completely ignore them. These guys sooner or later give up on OK or in the least become very embittered and BECOME one of the guys they once hated, sick to death of being treated like disposable waste by women he would have treated like queens. You will just never know it because he was one of those guys who sent a perfectly lovely letter and you ignored anyway. I wanted to comment on DOGs and FROGS. I think if a persons main goal is find somebody, get married as soon as possible and start having kids then you should probably stay in a specific age range but if a person is looking to have a wide variety of experiences, enjoy life and gain some good memories then age should not be a factor. I doubt some 20 something is going to want to marry a 50 something but it may surprise you that both parties can learn new things from the other, enjoy new experiences and have a good time. Sometimes it is the actual age difference that brings new things to a relationship since both have different life experiences. Limiting somebody by age is putting limits on your life. I have dated women younger than me, same age as me and older than me. I have learned new things from them and I hope they have learned new things from me which is what makes life exciting for me, expanding myself. Last year I went out with a women 20 years younger than me. One of her passions is volleyball and she got me involved in playing. I found I love the sport and wished that I had started playing years ago. Without her I would never have started playing and that would be an experience I would have missed. I taught her how to ski and that is now something she loves to do. Another woman I dated turned me onto books I would never have picked up and I did the same for her. It is the people we meet in life that adds spice and ultimately makes us a more interesting person. Some of you ladies are jealous or in denial! As if your the ones having troubles finding a date! I am a good looking guy who has no problem with women I spend time with in my community, just thought it would be fun to look outside the box. When I get a girl online who finally wants to date she tells me that she gets tons of hits all the time and has to sort through them. Then you have the nerve to get all butt hurt over a 40 or maybe even 50 y. I will never marry her I realize she needs to start a life with someone on her level one day. But we had quite a few things in common believe it or not, and she never felt with any other man the way she did with me physically. Now she knows what to look for and I am sure she will find it in a guy who wants to start a life with her. And as for me she boosted my ego and gave me memories and a smile that will never go away even as I write this message! I see nothing negative that came from it. I really like POF functionality but I get very few replies with way to much work which is not the sites fault. I will try okcupid to find a girl on my level and of course closer to my age! To Victor L above, I agree a lot with your first few sentences and it reminds me of something I learned recently at a workshop for effective communication with colleagues at work. Personal one-on-one communication can be broken down into different components: 10% of communication is in your words. In my opinion, online dating is a dead-end for most people. I recently deleted my profile and have resolved to get out of the house more. Happiness is not in your age but in your attitude. While this is nothing new, I find it laughable at the age range some of these old geezers put in their profiles. You can almost predict that they will go back 20 years younger and always end upsaying their age limit is 2-3 years younger than they are. My nature is to stay current in all aspects music, technology, world events, etc. I encourage men who like to set limits on their age range unless they are looking to have kids to be more open minded about age. Age is probably the least of your worries. I have a 40 year old daughter who laughs when I tell her about these old guys and their wishful thinking. People need to lighten up about age and look at the person in total when making a dating decision. Match is full of married men and players and Eharmony is just a stupid money making scam. Ok, off my little soapbox. I find the women on there to be extremely pretentious and very unwilling to give you the benefit of the doubt. I can understand having standards, but they take it to the Nth degree. Been on both and met nice women. Not a DOG or DIPSHIT. If you are emotionally unstable to start with you should be at a shrink not a date site. Still seeing one and bailed on the sites but I love seeing these review sites. People bitching about something they are not forced to do. Maybe you should go to Plenty of Freaks instead!!! As an average to above-average imho looking mid-30s single dad, neither site was all that impressive in regards to the matches the site would offer due to my own match criteria, no doubt or responses from those I initiated communication with. The biggest obstacle I ran into I think? Perhaps there needs to be a site for single parents or those willing to explore dating single parents? Between the 2 sites though, OKcupid was more fun to be on and actually yielded results for me. If you do, Lady Luck just happened to be on your side. My fiance, ironically enough, has no kids and is 7 years younger than I am and comes from a family with clashing cultural views to mine…not exactly the profile of someone I would have expected to hit it off with. I do have a tip for online daters: BE HONEST. I was surprised when my fiance told me that I was the only one that had not lied or misled regarding anything in my profile. Take some time to get to know her. Online you have pics, your profile, and a message. Thus you really have to market yourself. After experiencing a lot of the same issues other people have had about no responses, no emails initiated etc I understand how it can get discouraging. Now my response rate and emails initiated by women have drastically jumped! Which ones to you like the best: Boring car commercials or those randomly funny Bud Light commercials? I read SO many profiles that are just boring as can be! Hope the relationship is everything you were hoping for and surely deserve! I am happily in love and who would have thought that could have come from an online fling : I have been on okcupid off and on for years. I think the problem with Okcupid is there is so much to fill out and information to put up that it attracts an especially picky user base. Most profiles I click on for women, the woman is a vegatarian and pontificating about something. Keep in mind this is exactly what all my long term gfs were like but there are equally all the more guys like that on the site so it basically is the basement for the most jaded society has to offer. I include myself in that, not as a knock but it is a total waste of time. I think we all have our stories. Perhaps he was trying to learn how to make love to a woman. My question is, why are men and women just looking for sex on these sites? They can go to a bar for that. A guy even told me he sees his ex-girlfriend periodically for sex. These people are sad cases. Not to mention what they are spreading! I think these people refuse or are incapable of taking the time to really know someone and establishing a real relationship. Instant gratification, how shallow, and most of these guys probably finish the task in 5 minutes. I should mention that I love sex! We need to look for men and women with substance and integrity. Maybe we should start our own club or website! It would be fun just to share stories! I remember meeting an older man and he looked absolutely nothing like his picture! He also said he was a CEO of a company. OMG, no way, I could not believe it when I met him, a real dishonest fool. There was another one who said he only dated young girls, with his pot belly, bad table manners and inflated ego. OMG, a young woman would go running the opposite direction! Another one said he moved next door to his ex-wife and new husband, just to bug her. Do you think he had issues? OMG are you kidding me? Or they have the audacity to list that they are looking for a long-term relationship, a short-term relationship AND casual sex. Run for the hills when you see that. I also pay for my own coffee or dinner on the first meeting. Sadly, there are too many lonely men and women in this world. The bottom line is that we all want to be valued and loved. So, we need to keep looking, NEVER give up. In the meantime, we must weed through lots of frogs and for the men, frogettes! Best of luck to everyone. I had much the same situation as Roger, above. Well thought out messages incorporating information in their profiles were typically ignored. My caveat comes like this, however. So my OKC profile had no income listed. First thing I stopped was crafting messages. Why spend 15 minutes when 1 will get the same response? After awhile, I listed whatever the max income was there. Suddenly, my 0% response rate shot up closer to 80%. I should have remessaged some of the ones that ignored me prior, but typically I ignore them, then forget I messaged them. I tested PoF, using both a low income and a high income profile, with similar results. The pay sites are absolute scams. They simply steal pictures and post fake profiles in order to boost their numbers. I cant say that I have had any luck with any dating service. I am a 65 year old woman and I have had men contacting me from 30 years of age with fantasies of being with older women to men around my age looking for a nursemaid. I am in very active and hold down a full time job. And girls if we are complaining about how men treat women we only have to look at ourselves. The rudness is expressed because they get away with it. I am all for womens lib. But the respect has to be there. Sorry I will get off my soap box. I met a gamut of women in Denver from POF, all ranges of the socio-economic tier. Oh, the youngest woman I went out with was 28 she initiated the oldest was 54 I initiated I guess it all depends on who you are, and what your timing is like in regards to approaching strangers. I was raised pretty strictly and was always mature for my age. I tended to find women of my own age irritatingly silly and vapid, so I pretty much just went for older women. Nor do they become less selfish. They do however get jaded and angry at men. My grandmother, a sweet women of whom I am very fond, told my mother recently that she believes all the worlds problems are caused by men. She is not stupid, or particularly angry about anything. If women can get to that age and still be so simplistic in their view of life, and so misandritic — you get the point. Ironically, when I was a boy, I can remember my mother saying the same things. I used to feel bitter about this, but then I found stoicism. Now I know better than to assign either good or ill to those opinions I mentioned earlier. If not, I will remain cheerful — these things are not in my control and while finding a companion might be preferred, it does not define me and is utterly unnecessary. Anyway i tried both sites and have actually met a couple really good guys on both and i have to say my preference is probably plenty of fish im actually really good friends with a guy i met on it and have been on a few dates with him but i have come across a lot of desparate DOGS and losers but it really depends on the person and what type of information you put on about yourself and the specifications you set for the one your seeking! TIP:: Keep in mind im young and beautiful between 20-30 but the good men i have met didnt see a picture of me until we really started talking so to attract the good people its all about what you say and what your specifications are! I believe one has to be very disciplined to succeed with online dating. Meaning, you meet a potential date, to whom you find attractive, with some good qualities you like and the correspondence seem great, good communication and all. The question is, how many persons are disciplined enough to stick to that very first connection they had going and try to get to know the person better and see where it goes? And is the other party willing to do the same? Because they too will be getting tons of messages from other potential dates! Again, I totally agree with Elissa RE: Once you meet someone and it clicks, you should remove yourself from the site temporarily. The most serious of these psychological disadvantages of online dating is that the mind becomes addicted to hanging up on flirting. As the dates are shifted quickly and new choices are made by a few clicks, one gets used to transitory interactions and no serious relationships result. Computer mediated communication in case of making relationships is no match for personal interaction face to face. Honestly, being on pof reminds me that I need another hobby! No typed words can truly describe anyone and admittedly, most profiles you come across seems to be a very good description of: Honest, loyal, drama free etc individuals lol. Who will never admit that their lives are plagued with drama or that they are liars, cheaters etc. Hi Don, I was thinking of joining match. That is my fear too, but I guess it takes effort to be successful in any project or endeavor. Good luck and I know you will eventually be happy! Hey Everyone, I am 26 and a long time user of dating sites and consider myself an expert on them all. PoF, okcupid, and a site called Tagged, are CURRENTLY superior to all other sites, as well as meeting women in real life. Let me get it out of the way and say obviouls internet is superior because I can sort through 100s of women in a matter of an hour based upon their looks, and then narrow it down from there, whereas if I was to go out, I would have a small percentage of women that were appealing to me in a given venue on average. I go out Fri and Sat every weekend and spend a hour or so on the dating sites weekly, so I Can compare. I work out and just finished grad school, so you know a litte about me. Anyway, they are free for starters, and the filters for age etc are fine for me. I dont even care about age bracket. Especially with Tagged and PoF I was able to date women 18-37. Through all the sites including a couple minor ones I was able to fulfill every fantasy, buxom, nice ass, asian, buxom milf, buxom asian, you name it I made it happen. Now I am pretty much retired and met a girl in real life and settled down for the moment. All in all, these sites are great and if men dont like them, your messaging skills are weak, you are not attractive, and your conversation is weak. I KILL it on there, email me if you want to know some tips, but it is SO easy I Feed the same line every time and 75% of the time I Get a response. I have met women from each site in the first month of using them. To some degree it is a numbers game. Your first message should be 2-3 lines maximum, and that way you can spend about 1. Showing that you are in shape and have goals is BIG. IF you have a gut, I cannot compare my experience to you. Not having a gut is fairly easy, you run or do plyometric for 30 min daily. IF you dont want to do that, you will not get your pick of the litter, and better start messaging the bottom of the barrel chicks, in fact how dare you even think you can have an attractive woman. I have now met in person 6 ladies. All 6 misrepresented themselves substantially in their profiles, turning out to be far heavier and older looking in person. I understand that most are only going to post their more flattering pictures. I really feel posting accurate, and complete pictures would result in much better efficiency for all of us in finding our right matches. A question: Do POF and OKCupid attract people in my age group or is it mostly frequented by younger sorts? I have been on several dating sites for the past 2 years on and off; currently have been on POF. For the most part it says someone is interested in me but then I wonder have they not sent me a message? Now, on POF in order to see if someone opened the e-mail I sent I have to pay; that is ridiculous! None of us are perfect so why do we think others should be? Whether you want to admit it or not we all have a certain image in the back of our minds that we are searching for and unfortunately we come up short and find not too many interested. I thought by joining a dating site that I would by now have been closer to finding that someone special; but that is far from the truth. I have yet to try okcupid and actually this is the first I have heard of it! They match would be wiser to allow communication with one member paying. I truly believe it would make sense business-wise because others have become disenchanted as well. I look at that as misrepresentation. E-harmony has become just as bad. It was a total waste of time and so is deleting them all from my mailbox! Nothing good to say about E-harmony. They used to have a good reputation. Of course I would see them online later on — probably surfing for something better. And what was I DOING ONLINE when I saw THEM there? I was just putting in their username without being logged in! Not surfing for something better. One man seemed very interested and we definitely liked one another, but I got disgusted when he told me he was going to call me and apparently was too busy surfing for a more perfect woman — even though I am definitely not hard on the eyes — LOL. We met, he started to fall for me and I for him and he ran for the hills! Total misrepresentation on his part. I am a 26 year old man who has been on okcupid. I find it exceedingly difficult to get women to respond to my respectful, well written messages which always incorporate information from their profiles. Needless to say, I have never physically met a woman from this site. I suspect that many women are using okcupid for the fun quizzes, and because getting so many messages from men provides a little ego boost. I have also thought about what Kinley and Elissa mention, that online dating provides people especially women with limitless options and thus women are not motivated to make any kind of decision since somebody better could always potentially be out there. I think that this creates a situation where women have become so incredibly picky where men have to be ridiculously awesome to have any kind of a chance. And the men who would ordinarily be good enough, if not ridiculously awesome, are no longer good enough since they become too emotionally damaged after years of rejection. And yeah, I am talking about myself. I just refuse to believe that I deserve such an abysmally low response rate from women on okcupid. I have been on both sites and I have experienced the same thing—people who are my age or in my age bracket do not respond to my posts but others who I do not message, message me and continiously send me messages and they are out of my age range and compatibility range so I have not had much success. In the end I believe one of them was married and it was his wife that I believe texted me the last message I got because she found out about his little game of course his profile said single and another guy stopped answering when I was asking him specific questions. Gosh Martin, I would date you, how do you feel about 46 year olds, I think that qualifies me for being a DOG. On a different note, I wish that there was some way that you could hit the delete button when you go on a date after talking with a guy and find out that his hands are very quick. I did experience gals making a date and then ignoring me until the appointed date had passed. The Fish was good to me and I have 2 close women friends as a result and one e-friend whom I have never met. However, after moving to Costa Rica a year ago I experienced a lot more weirdness, like, outdated pictures, restless shoppers and general deceit. I thought it was just women that did that… hehehe…. I deleted my profile in frustration and just found they are dropping most non-English speaking countries; at least Costa Rica and maybe Panama. Maybe OkCupid is down here. I have found that we in the cyber space of dating are like the kids under 18…. Cheers, Ben Here is a HUGE NEGATIVE for OKCupid that I experienced: their match filter DOES NOT work. After answering over four hundred questions, in addition to completing an online profile, I was getting matches from mostly Christian women that already have children. Also, I am tired of being discriminated against by Christians dates brainwashed by their pastors in church against anyone with a belief contrary to their own. Therefore, I asked OKCupid to weed out women that have children and anyone that reported ANY religious preference not just Christian in their profile as I wanted to avoid that sort of element, completely Why? Frustrated, I finally deleted my profile from their website. Great match The reason a lot of dating sites get tangled is men looking for younger women, ignoring those their own age, and in their wild fantasies imaging that a gorgeous young thing would be interested in an old DOG even with money , as she is looking for a cool young dude her own age with passion and prospects. I do get your point, Kinley, about contacting someone who clearly has ruled you out. IOW, as I said I am 53 so WHY do searches bring up profiles of women who clearly specify, say, 35 — 45 as their age limits? I will see a very pretty woman in my search results, I take time to read her profile and then I notice that I am too old. It would be nice if there was a search option that screened out all profiles that specify a younger age. The difference between me at 25 and me at 53 is that I am much more emotionally mature, I own a home and have enough money to do anything I want including actually going to Paris in the Spring and Hawaii a couple times each year. We never expected it to become marriage, it was just a very HOT and fun time in our lives. Hey, on Plenty of fish you set all of your preferences and if someone even tries to email you they, not you, get a message that they do not fit your profile for whatever reason. If they do not fit within your preferences, they cannot even send you an email. The profiles exclusions include items such as: no picture, age range, no smokers, even if you live too far away and many more. If they do fit within your preferences but are otherwise abusive you can block them from ever sending you a message again. Also, if you send a message to someone who does not fall within your preferences, they are they allowed to send messages to you without regard to your preferences but you are the one who makes that choice but sending them a message. My only caveat would be to say I would like somebody to observe and respect the age preferences I set in my profile. Hey I like the DOGS comment. As as an old DOG myself I would just like to ask what the ,over the hill, ladies are referred to… huh? On okcupid, for the first date I ever went on, after my divorce, I ended up with a... Many guys I know have said that OkCupid was not worth it and a waste of time. OkCupid has a lot of bells...